Dear Kid Saturdays: Wacky Sleep

Dearest Joe, light of my life, my reason for smiling, I have a complaint I’d like to file with you.

You seem to think it’s funny to wake up at 5 am (which is what Mom likes to try to do so she can work while you sleep, by the way.) and mess with the dog. This wouldn’t be such a big deal to Mom and Dad if you were quiet, or if the dog didn’t lick herself so loudly (and believe me, if I could stop her, I would.) The thing is, son, you don’t like to take naps, (since you’re all big and 5 now) and once you get so grouchy, I have no choice but to let you sleep. If not, Mom would be really mean to you because Mom’s nerves are bad, and you’re a butt head when you need sleep.

The major thing is though, you keep going to sleep for the night at  6 or 7 because you’re so tired. You missed dinner twice this week, and wouldn’t wake up to eat.

See–the problem with is that by going to sleep at 7 and waking up at 5, you’re getting 10 hours of sleep, which is too much for a mid day nap, and out of whack so much that it feeds itself for another day.

So, listen, here’s the deal: You’re going to get up in the morning, and you’re going to let Mom sleep because Sundays are her day off. Then, you’re going to stay up, and I am going to let you watch the Simpsons, no matter how bad it may be for your impressionable mind–it’ll keep you up til at least 8:30, and then we’ll let you crash only after 9. Hopefully, this will reset that darling internal clock of yours.  It’ll be rough on all of us, but if it gets too bad, I can hide upstairs with grandma and let your dad deal with you.

Thank you very much for your attention to this matter.

I love you,

Mom


Dear Kid Saturdays at Cutest Kid Ever

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